Jimmy

One of the greatest people I will ever know.

I have had the fortune of knowing many good people in my life. I will never again have the privilege of knowing someone like my cousin, Jimmy. Jimmy was the rarest of people, an amazing combination of humor, caring, and fun.

I have one true brother, Rusty, but Rusty and I really grew up with two other big brothers, our cousins David and Jimmy. Our family is very small, with the four of us as the only grandchildren for our maternal grandparents. Summers were often spent at Grandma and Granddaddy's in Baltimore, often with a stop-off at Aunt Suzanney's in Milford, Delaware. As the baby in the family, and the only girl, I was often annoying to Rusty and David (understandably so). Jimmy, however, never ceased to include me and play with me. I have memories of him chasing me around Grandma's house.

When we were at Aunt Suzanney's, Jimmy, Rusty, and I would "stake out" in Jimmy's room and wait for David to come home from his dates. We'd heckle him through the window, infuriating and embarassing him to no end. I thought Jimmy was the coolest thing.

I remember being very little and riding in the car with Jimmy and Aunt Suzanney. Jimmy said to Aunt Suzanney, "Allison will be pretty when she's older, won't she?" He always had a way of making me feel special. For as long as I can remember, Jimmy gave hugs unlike any other. He didn't give the half-assed hugs most of us give. No, he gave you the kind of hugs that lifted you off the ground, spun you around, and made you know you were loved. He gave the best hugs ever, and he gave them unabashedly. Few of us let our loved ones know what they truly mean to us as often as we should, but Jimmy never failed to let us all know.

As we got older, we all saw each other less and less, but things never changed when we all got together. David and Jimmy were still like big brothers to Rusty and me. Jimmy and I both had a tough time at Granddaddy's funeral. We went into the viewing room arm-in-arm, and we were chosen to take the offering to the altar. Though Jimmy was having a hard time himself, he was constantly watching out for me, more concerned for how I was doing than for himself. When we all went our separate ways, Jimmy picked me up and hugged me, telling me to take care of myself. I wrote Jimmy a letter and told him about how lucky I was to have him in my family, and I stuck it in his duffel bag. I don't know if he ever got it, but I like to assume he did.

Four years ago, Jimmy called to tell us all that he would be a father. It was obvious that he was nervous, surprised, and scared. I first saw him with his baby, Taylor, at Grandma's funeral. Taylor was just an infant, but it was easy to see that Jimmy adored her.

At Jimmy and Jessica's wedding a couple years later, which was a huge party in the Florida Keys, I got teary watching Jimmy with his daughter. You could not have asked for a better father. You could tell by the way he looked at Taylor that he could not love that baby more. I told him that night how amazing it was to watch him with his baby, and I am so glad I got the chance to do that. The wedding was such a fun time.

Rusty and Deborah's wedding in August was the last time I saw Jimmy. Our entire family: Dad, Mom, Rusty, Ted, Barbara, Cote, Aunt Suzanney, Jim, Jimmy, Jessica, Taylor, and me all rented a cabin in the Smokey Mountains. Rusty's friends Adam and Tom also stayed with us.

The eve of Rusty's wedding was spent in the hot tub with Rusty, Jessica, Jimmy, Ted, and me. Many childhood stories were told, along with things our parents would prefer not to know. Somewhere in the middle of our hours-long sweat-out, and after a few drinks, I told Jimmy how much I love him (I won't say "loved" as a past-tense because I will always love him). We shared an embrace that I did not think much of that night. He proceeded to tell Ted that he liked him, but should Ted ever hurt me he would kick Ted's ass. He told Ted, "I love this girl."

Taylor was Rusty and Deborah's flower girl, but she didn't want to go down the aisle without Daddy, so Jimmy walked along the side the whole way, urging Taylor to drop her flower petals. At the end of the aisle, little Taylor turned over her basket and shook it violently. Poor Jimmy was at his wit's end, trying to get little Taylor to wear her crown of flowers. He gave her every bribe under the sun, handing her juice cups and grapes, and shaking his head, smiling the entire time with Granddaddy's blue eyes.

It was sad for us all to part at the end of our wedding celebration in Tennessee, but it was such a fun time that it was hard to be too sad over it. The last time I saw Jimmy was on the front porch of our cabin. He and Jessica got Taylor into her carseat and said goodbye to everyone. As always, Jimmy's hug was the best, just like when we were seven and thirteen.

Grandma told me once that God gives everyone something and "he gave Jimmy personality." Jimmy had more personality in his ear lobe than most people have in a lifetime. His eyes sparkled and he brought joy to everyone he encountered. He had the rare gift of being able to converse with anyone on any topic. The other person always knew that Jimmy was interested in what they were saying, regardless of whether the topic was truly of interest to him. He just cared about people, and Aunt Suzanney can be credited with raising two very amazing men. I know with certainty that they would both agree with me that they would be nothing without my lovely Aunt Suzanney.

Two weeks and four days ago, I received a call I never wanted to get. One of the greatest people in my life had died on his 34th birthday. My big brother died on his 34th birthday. Once again, the whole family congregated, this time in Orlando. The most painful days of my life, to this point. The one person who always made such unbearable circumstances tolerable was the one person who was not there, and I seemed unable to handle it without him.

Few of you will ever have the fortune of knowing one person as wonderful as my brother, Jimmy. While my time with him was cut far too short, I can say that I was one of the lucky ones for getting to spend any time with him at all. Jimmy, I was so lucky to have known you. I know you loved me. I love you. You will never be replaced.